Return of the Slack

A million sorries, my little pilgrims. Looks like another month has passed ... I could fill you in on the details (Halloween, houseguests, and possible H1N1) but that's all older than Thursday's turkey and Pilsbury crescent rolls. Y'all have a good Thanksgiving? This time of year I'm reminded of one my favorite Saturday Night Live skits from a decade ago featuring Ana Gasteyer as Martha Stewart and Joan Allen as the formidable Big Martha (her momz):


Martha: Of course, no Thanksgiving would be complete without taking a moment to recall a few things for which we are grateful. I give thanks for forsythia, Beefeaters Gin and Caller ID. Mother?

Mrs. Stewart: I give thanks for Talbots, Beefeaters Gin and my flawless memory.

Martha: It did snow, Mother.

Mrs. Stewart: Martha, it didn't.

Martha: It was the same Thanksgiving your forced Robby to play touch-football.

Mrs. Stewart: I never did that.

Martha: Yes, you did. You said if he didn't you'd lock him up in a hospital for fruits.

Mrs. Stewart: Ah, yes. Now I remember.

Martha: Join us tomorrow on "Living".

Mrs. Stewart: Thanksgiving comes but once a year.

Martha: And that's a good thing.


Oh, how that still tickles me. So instead of picking fights with Rachael Ray I'll take a page out of Fake Martha's book and list what I'm grateful for this year:

1. Family. (especially Pa Olsen who this year, without protest, let me clean out his laundry room like a speed freak. Picture entire mountain ranges of lint and me Windexing boxes of Tide).

2. Friends. Ever important since I am, as Mugatu put it, barren. Kidding! This category of course covers Muugs himself, 'Mander and Sip o' J (the MRLLC family), countless baristas and bartenders, and those kind folk at Plump Dumpling who will deliver a $9 order below Houston Street at 11pm on a Monday.

3. The Internet (including you lovely readers but barring the 'tagged photos' feature on Facebook).

4. My landlord, who looked at my Chinese Red kitchen/living room and declared, "I feel like I'm on drugs! I like it." instead of "You just lost your security deposit."

5. Raisins.

6. Shazaam (via Rebina's iPhone. I have a 'so corporate' BlackBerry.)

7. My L.L. Bean duck boots.

8. Patience.

9. The Continued Return of the Supermodel: Linda Evangelista in L'Oreal commercials, Stephanise Seymour nude in Vanity Fair, Kristen McMenamy teaming up with Steven Meisel ...

10. Refinement. That's sort of the name of the game right now, no? In a very literal sense. Cheap, throwaway design (and fashion) gestures deserve to be thrown away -- as much as I love a plastic West Elm geode lamp (already taken off the site, I see), I'd rather save up for the real thing. In my closet, the red and black buffalo plaid bomber jacket sits, dejected, while the perfectly fitting navy Brooklyn Industries number announces, "Go for the Peacoat, not the PeaCOCK."

What's on your list this year? My honorary #11 was Lady Gaga but I felt like a tool trying to justify!